25-year-old son keeps his mom’s secret affair from his dad for 15 years and now feels guilty, internet assures him it's not his fault: “I didn't want him to feel hurt”

Giuliana Tiscioni • Writer

Jul 9, 2026 7:15 PM EDT

Isn't it awful to get caught up in the middle of family drama that is not your responsibility?

Families can be a real source of drama when they want to be, some more than others. Parents argue, siblings get estranged, couples split. It's all very human, but also very stressful if you're caught up in the middle of it all. No one should be playing middleman in a private discussion, especially your children. Kids are never responsible for adult problems, and should never be burdened with them.

Redditor u/Gaarouille had an unfortunate childhood experience with an adult secret. When he was about 10 years old (he was just a little kid), he heard his mom talking on the phone with a man who wasn't his dad/her husband, along with the words "I love you." The mom was quick to tell her son to keep her secret, and he did, obviously. Years later, someone told his dad about the affair, and the son played the part of the confused kid, not daring to tell his dad the truth.

I feel so sorry for this guy. He expressed that guilt has been eating him alive for so many years. This is why kids should never be forced to deal with adult problems. Beyond the fact that the mother had an affair, which is questionable on its own, being so reckless that your kid found out is definitely worse. Do what you will in your own time; mess up your marriage if you want, that's none of our business. But don't put such a heavy burden on your ten-year-old son!

Parents are some of the greatest influences we have in our lives. They are the ones who teach us to talk, to walk, to deal with people and society, and most importantly, they teach us to love. Keeping hurtful secrets and making them lie is not the way to do it. It'll only make your kids grow up to be lonely and distrustful. If I could speak with this guy, I would make sure to tell him that the lies are not his fault. He was young, trusted his mom, and did as he was asked. If anything, he was trying to be a good kid; no one would blame him for that. Luckily, Reddit commenters are already trying to make him feel better.

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I could have told my dad about my mom's affair... but I didn't have the courage

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